Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
