I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
