I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
