I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
