what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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