I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
