it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
