oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
