Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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