At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
handjob tips. give me some.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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