No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
