i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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