Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
