The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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