we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
my liver is dry heaving
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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