If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
