Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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