No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
