Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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