I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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