I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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