And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
