Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
whose parrot is this?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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