I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
