I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
