i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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