sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
