erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
