I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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