.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
