This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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