You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
