I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
As shirtless as possible
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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