Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
