I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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