I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I have tasted many bathrooms
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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