and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
