You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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