he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
