I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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