I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Why is your signature on my underwear?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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