I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Randomize
