im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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