But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
This can only be settled by a dance off.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
