reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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