I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
