Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
