they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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