You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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