So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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