So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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