i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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