So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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